Attitude

   I read on a poster today, (incidentally the poster is in the patient bathroom of my job, where I rarely have ever been, but I am drinking more and more water on this quest for health and beauty that I'm on so I found myself in there releasing said water), and the poster said, in part, "life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it."

   That sentence is burned in my mind right now, because it fits so well with all that I've been going through lately. It has been a rough week personally, and even I have been impressed with how I have handled it. Personal relationship upheavals, from multiple directions as some relationships that are all over including the shouting still insist on heaving out the occasional death rattle, and some aren't what they seem, and some are just plain confusing.

   I attempt to make sense of the madness that is now my life, and as long as I find something every day to make me smile, I manage to stay very happy. This isn't what I would have thought possible. Sometimes it's as if I can feel the particles that make up my life swarming around my ears, an unstoppable commotion that's more a tornado than a downward spiral. Everything isn't going "down the drain" as it were, but it's just always in chaos around my head, taking my breath away.

   But every day, I smile, I laugh, I tell jokes to make everybody else laugh and smile and be comfortable wherever they may find themselves. And I am not putting on an act, I am sincerely happy. Then I have a flash of something that has been circling my head, one of the causes of tumult in my life, and I have a flash of concern, or sadness, or a feeling of being overwhelmed, but this too passes, and the smiles come back in full force, and the life continues and it's a good life worth living.